Probably some of you will be asking yourselves why the name “zenity mom” for this blog.
I’m not a zen master. Or the calmest and most “balanced” mom you’ll know. Far away from that!
Actually, I’m just the ordinary mother of two lovely kids, who have of course become the center of my world from the first day they were born. But apart from that, I have a full-time job (no oddity either), a house to keep tidy and clean, and somewhere at the end of the day, the wife-part and me-part get lost on the road. Mostly at the moment I fall asleep on the couch after getting the kids to bed and running upstairs at least 3 times for each of them because of some issue or other (MOM: I’m thirsty! MOM: I need to pee! Mom! I don’t remember why I was shouting after you…)
And as happens, life does give you its lessons, and sometimes you actually find some miracle solutions to all of your tiny problems, and that make a tremendous change in your life.
During the last 10 years, I’ve done some way myself towards a more satisfied and whole ME.
But I realise of course I’m still lightyears away from being the zen and balanced mom I want to be. I get closer to it a little every day. But then again, I make stupid choices and decisions every day that make again a mess out of my organised life.
At the end of the day, I think a lot of this sums up in following points :
define your priorities in life : family, work, yourself
identify the things that make your day difficult
find ways to simplify those issues, or at least how to make these tasks doubly productive and somehow more pleasurable
set aside time for yourself and find out who you are, who you want to be, and what makes you happy
take time to do the things that make you happy!
This is only a very spontaneous short-list of the steps towards analyzing your life now, and where you want to be heading. It’s a bit like when you prepare for your annual evaluation at work. Where do you want to be 2 or 5 years from now? Are you happy right now? What would you like to change, independently of what seems possible or not?
At some point or another, I think we all need to sit down, take a deep breath, close our eyes and reflect deeply on ourselves. This is why I very much respect disciplines such as yoga or even pilates, because it teaches you to be so much more conscious about yourself, something that just gets completely lost in our stressful world.
Reflecting on ourselves can be a scary thing, I know. Actually, I think I started this process about two years ago, and haven’t still emerged completely from it. It freaks me out to realise that a lot of the things I do, the way I behave, are absolutely not the ME I want to be.
Jobwise, I’ve realised I have a really fantastic job… but that just doesn’t fit me! I don’t have the possibility to change, so for me the way to being more satisfied is to find and fix time for the things I love to do. Writing, Dreaming, Crafting, …. and Googling 🙂 No just kidding. But I am quite in love with Pinterest for example, where I could surf around for hours and hours thinking : oooh, I want to do that, or, wow, I could look like that…
The way I behave, is so often the contrary of how I see myself, and I am sometimes shocked at it. I see myself shouting at the kids, especially when I’m tired, about small things I would laugh about on other day. How the hell are they supposed to understand that? It doesn’t make any sense and it is absolutely unfair to them. And it is about the worst character trait to show them.
As I say, I’ve got a long way to go myself. But maybe, some of you out there will have similar stories to tell and tips and tricks to share about becoming a more zenity mom!