Keep your calm and look at the good sides

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This morning I woke up already feeling grumpy. Not because I’d slept badly or anything like that. Just because I knew I had to get to work for a couple of hours this afternoon. It would break up completely my day, and annoyed me to hell.

Mostly I was also annoyed because I knew that my presence at the event this afternoon was absolutely superfluous, and the few hours lost there would feel even worse, because it was just a waste of time. Furthermore, I was supposed to be holding a coffee and cake gathering with some friends this afternoon, and going to town and work would make the preparation way more complicated. So the whole morning it was as if there were a grinch running around the kitchen, preparing stuff, shoving the kids out into the garden to be able to get the cakes done…

And on my way to work in the car, I suddenly thought to myself. Damned. You did it again. Let something that was no real catastrophe at all ruin your day just because you decided it would ruin your day.

It happens to me so often, I moan and complain about something I have to do that I don’t want to, and instead of getting it done, planning it into my schedule as there obviously is no way around it anyway, I let it put me in a bad mood. And all the other people around me unfortunately have to suffer as well.

Now as I had supposed, it was a complete waste of time. And yes, the kids have managed to mess up the kitchen and living room in the two hours I left (that I had mopped and cleaned yesterday till late in the evening). And yes, I should now be cleaning it all up, get the table ready.

But hey, the kids are happy, they’re building a fort with all the living room cushions and covers (half of the play kitchen is outside as well… oh but right now I see that the soccer ball is also making its way out which is actually a very good thing, rather than having it in my kitchen). And there’s still half of the day left, time left to write a little post for my blog, time to fix myself a coffee and eat some chocolate before my friends arrive, so : looking at the good side of life, after all, it IS weekend!

 

Zen inspiration

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Here’s a little peek into a wonderful website that is very inspiring for not only the zen attitude, but also for those who want to think over their lifestyle.

Although most of us won’t share all the ideas and thoughts, I find it very refreshing to read about them and reflecting upon our own lifestyle, which can be so exuberant and overflowing with materialistic things.

Take a relaxing tour over here at Leo Babauta’s zenhabits.

Step 1

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Probably some of you will be asking yourselves why the name “zenity mom” for this blog.

I’m not a zen master. Or the calmest and most “balanced” mom you’ll know. Far away from that!

Actually, I’m just the ordinary mother of two lovely kids, who have of course become the center of my world from the first day they were born. But apart from that, I have a full-time job (no oddity either), a house to keep tidy and clean, and somewhere at the end of the day, the wife-part and me-part get lost on the road. Mostly at the moment I fall asleep on the couch after getting the kids to bed and running upstairs at least 3 times for each of them because of some issue or other (MOM: I’m thirsty! MOM: I need to pee! Mom! I don’t remember why I was shouting after you…)

And as happens, life does give you its lessons, and sometimes you actually find some miracle solutions to all of your tiny problems, and that make a tremendous change in your life.

During the last 10 years, I’ve done some way myself towards a more satisfied and whole ME.

But I realise of course I’m still lightyears away from being the zen and balanced mom I want to be. I get closer to it a little every day. But then again, I make stupid choices and decisions every day that make again a mess out of my organised life.

At the end of the day, I think a lot of this sums up in following points :

  • define your priorities in life : family, work, yourself

  • identify the things that make your day difficult

  • find ways to simplify those issues, or at least how to make these tasks doubly productive and somehow more pleasurable

  • set aside time for yourself and find out who you are, who you want to be, and what makes you happy

  • take time to do the things that make you happy!

This is only a very spontaneous short-list of the steps towards analyzing your life now, and where you want to be heading. It’s a bit like when you prepare for your annual evaluation at work. Where do you want to be 2 or 5 years from now? Are you happy right now? What would you like to change, independently of what seems possible or not?

At some point or another, I think we all need to sit down, take a deep breath, close our eyes and reflect deeply on ourselves. This is why I very much respect disciplines such as yoga or even pilates, because it teaches you to be so much more conscious about yourself, something that just gets completely lost in our stressful world.

Reflecting on ourselves can be a scary thing, I know. Actually, I think I started this process about two years ago, and haven’t still emerged completely from it. It freaks me out to realise that a lot of the things I do, the way I behave, are absolutely not the ME I want to be.

Jobwise, I’ve realised I have a really fantastic job… but that just doesn’t fit me! I don’t have the possibility to change, so for me the way to being more satisfied is to find and fix time for the things I love to do. Writing, Dreaming, Crafting, …. and Googling 🙂 No just kidding. But I am quite in love with Pinterest for example, where I could surf around for hours and hours thinking : oooh, I want to do that, or, wow, I could look like that…

The way I behave, is so often the contrary of how I see myself, and I am sometimes shocked at it. I see myself shouting at the kids, especially when I’m tired, about small things I would laugh about on other day. How the hell are they supposed to understand that? It doesn’t make any sense and it is absolutely unfair to them. And it is about the worst character trait to show them.

As I say, I’ve got a long way to go myself. But maybe, some of you out there will have similar stories to tell and tips and tricks to share about becoming a more zenity mom!

On the road from chaos to zenity

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Being a mom isn’t easy. Being a wife isn’t easy. Working a stressful job isn’t easy at all times either.

And the whole combined together easily melts into a huge mess where you struggle to do your best and more or less survive. In the end of the day, though, as you finally sit down, you feel as if you haven’t accomplished anything.

Knowing myself how frustrating it can be, and how tough it is to meet up to all your goals and dreams, and having gone through more downs than ups for a long period of time, life has taught me a set of lessons.

And everyday, I try to find small little steps to feel more happy, more balanced in life, and to attend to my own needs in order to function in all my different roles.

I hope some of you want to join me on this trip to more zenity in your life.